


Not Crown or Glory; Just You

by piq_snine



Series: Watcher in the Night; Lover in the Day [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Durincest, Frottage, Incest, M/M, Violence, comforting!Fili, hurt!Kili, more to come - Freeform, night watcher fili, what are these feelings?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 03:16:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1329868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piq_snine/pseuds/piq_snine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili's life together as brothers, and lovers, before the banishment.</p><p>A collection of pre-Sunshine in My Veins; He Made Me Smile Fili/Kili smut and porn with plot. For those of you wanting more of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blood Before Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Caution: aggressive Kili, and mentions of attempted rape. Graphic murder. How graphic? You'll see.
> 
>  
> 
> Funny how I'm not a fan of rape but that's all I can write.

Ered Luin had been darker than Erebor, not that Fili would have known, but the darkness provides cover for the blond dwarf enough so that he could tail his mark through the winding corridors soundlessly. His boots' leather soles have been softened so that even in the loudest halls Fili could stalk around mostly unnoticed. It doesn't help that he's blond and can be picked out in the softest light. So his mane had been wrapped in a cloth, because he refuses to color it with charcoal. With all the precautions made, Fili melted into the shadows and followed his mark further into the corridors. 

 

This was a man he'd been tailing for a while now, he kept to practically the same schedule everyday, morning with his family, where after he would begin his inspection of the mines, take lunch, then break off into a different routine for a couple of hours. Some days he spent with his wife, other's with his children, training them in their trade, or sometimes he would go to the tavern and spend coin on drink. After those few hours he returned back to work, finished his day with his family, make love to his wife and start the day over again tomorrow. But somedays, he would take these walks into the older mines, the empty ones, and rattle the cages. Literally.

 

The black haired dwarf had kept cages down in these hollowed halls, they rattled and creaked, giving their prisoners hope. There were children, youngsters and adult dwarves and half-breeds in these cages waiting for trade. And this was the dwarf's actual job, the one that brought in the most money. And it was Fili's job to take care of him. 

 

The man whistled on his way back through the halls, he was still buckling his pants up when Fili decided to make his move. Matching his steps Fili crept through the dirt and rubble, keeping time with the dwarf in front of him he was able to be a hairs breadth away from him. Step, crunch, step, crunch. A rhythm, a dance with a heavy tempo of death. 

 

Fili's blades were pulled with a whispered snick in time with the steps, masking their presences. This was a dance he had trained for for the past ten years. The sway, the matching steps, the mesmerizing thumping of his heart, moving in between the beats, it was intoxicating, and terrifying.

 

He remembers the first slit of throat, hearing the chokes and the aborted screaming of his mark. He remembers getting sick at the sight, at the smell of death. He remembers when he had gotten too good to abandon the Watchers to the point where, now, he doesn't think he could live without this type of work. 

 

Nori had made it his mission, his claim, if you will, to only take on the marks where Dwalin and the rest of the guards couldn't quite get. Interrogation fails, criminals that slipped through the cracks, and even were hired on by honest citizens wanting their due revenge after the failed system. One of those citizens had hired Fili to discover the truth about their daughters' abduction, and he had found her. In the cells down the hall behind him.

 

The trader kept whistling, a jaunty little tune that Fili thought he may have heard in the taverns before. With one sweep of steel, the whistling vanished in a choke. Blood foaming through the slit airways bubbled and curdled, spilling out and soaking the man's tunics and leathers. 

 

The only thing that Fili took from the other dwarf, besides his life, was a bead dipped in the man's blood. A horrible trophy for the family but a necessary one. 

 

It wasn't Fili's job to release the prisoners back towards the tunnels. That was what Dwalin was there for. Fili made his way through the tunnels, wrapping the bloody bead in a bit of flannel, and nodded to a waiting Dwalin. There were other trusted guards with him, those who regularly employed Nori and his guild. 

 

Later on that night, Fili found his way home. Weary and slightly drunk he tread lightly through the house careful not to wake anyone. He tried to decide if he wanted to bring in the stench of ale, pipe weed, blood and death into Kili and his shared room. The choice was made for him as he tried to turn around and head for the couch.

 

"Fee," Kili called softly from the open door. No doubt he was without his small clothes or any clothes at all, Fili could smell the alcohol rolling out the bedroom. "Come to bed, love."

 

"I shouldn't. You're drunk." Fili said in a bit of hypocrisy. But he knew what Kili liked to get up to when he was drunk. 

 

"C'mon Fee, please? These girls just don't know how to- Fee." Kili tried to get Fili to come back to him, but he refused to be persuaded. Kili had taken more than one girl to bed. To _their_ bed. He shouldn't be this jealous, not when it's his brother, but he loved him too much, was too much _in_ love with him to accept the cold reality that they could never have that. To be in love, having sex, _fucking_ all day if they wished. But no, fate had to tie their souls as brother's and not lovers.

 

Fili made his way back to the couch in the sitting room, the old wooden thing creaked as he pulled himself onto it, threadbare blanket rolled up as a pillow. He could hear Kili coming down the halls, struggling with his walk. He realized he must have been pulling on clothes as he heard the rustle of fabric from across the room.

 

"I'm sorry. Baby, please. I-I don't have anyone with me. I thought about it, but I didn't bring them home." Kili drew up to the end of the couch. "Baby. Love. Darling. Star of my Sky. Stone of My Heart. King of-"

 

"Exactly Kee, leave it alone." Fili looked over his shoulders then turning back around to fold in on himself. Some of his weapons were poking painfully into his side and hip as he tried to get comfortable but it couldn't distract him from the look on his brother's face. It was crumpled, eyebrows coming together to give off the saddest look Kili had ever pulled. But it wasn't the pitiful look his brother made, nor was it his disheveled hair, mussed up clothes, it was the bruise on his cheek, the one that wasn't there when he had left a week ago. "Kili, love, where did you get that? That's fresh. What happened? _Who hurt you?_ "

 

"N-nobody, it was nothing. Just a tussle, nothing serious. I started it. I- Fee!" Kili reeled away, trying to keep his brother from taking his bruised face into his hands. 

 

"Baby, who did this?" Fili tried again. His heart clenched at the thought of him not being here to protect his beloved brother while he was out chasing a criminal and slicing his throat. He didn't see the bruise earlier, in the hallway, but then he didn't have the light he does out in the sitting room. "Come here. Let's get some mugwart on this. And tell me who did this."

 

"Why? So you can go out there and beat him up? Or will you kill him this time. Fee, I don't like it when you get this way. It scares me. This isn't my brother. This isn't my lover." Kili followed Fili into the kitchen where there were hanging herbs and other medicines in jars the elder brother kept around. "Fee, please. Look at me and tell me you won't kill him."

 

"Why, what did he do? Kili I swear to Manwe if you don't tell me what that dwarf did to you, I'll beat the living piss out of anyone at the tavern for just being there." Fili pulled out a jar of dried mugwart, a pestle and mortar, and a bit of water and mint. "I do this to protect you, now tell me what he did."

 

At a loss, Kili just sat down on a stool at the table while his brother made a paste of medicine. He watched his brother work at the high table, always enjoying it when his brother was severely focused on what he was doing. As if he were trying to call from memory a cook book he'd only seen once to make his pastes, teas, powders, and liquids Kili wasn't allowed to touch. Most of everything in the kitchen was off-limits to he and Dis, except the cooking herbs Fili spoiled his mother with.

 

"I told you, it was me." Kili sighed and folded his arms underneath him. "He was- I thought- I wanted to get off so badly with you, I didn't know when you were getting home so I thought, if I got drunk enough, I could take home this blond dwarrow. Only, he tried slapping me around and wanted to tie me down. I told him to piss off and I- Durin's beard this isn't helping is it?"

 

"No, but keep going." Fili commanded in a dark voice. Kili really did hate it when his brother got like this. The elder was done with the medicine and made his way around the table to tenderly put some on Kili's face. There was barely any hair growing in and Kili had just turned 70. Mahal, his love was a late bloomer. Fili looked down to see where he could put his feet when he saw Kili's knuckles. The blond let out a sigh before continuing. "Really, though, Kee. I'm glad to see you can take care of yourself. But you've got to- I don't know- stop making me worry about you."

 

"I'm your little brother, I think it's my job to worry you and mum." Kili said, sitting as still as he could as Fili applied the mugwart to his face to get rid of the bruising. When Fili was done with his face he left to find some squirrel tail for the fresh cuts on his knuckles. He chewed up the plant into something resembling cud and spit it out and rubbed onto his hands. "Besides, what would you do without me?"

 

The question was innocent enough, but Fili realized just how much Fili _did_ depend on his brother. Without him, he would have been waisting away on the bed, becoming nothing but a skeleton of a dwarrow if he had lived this long. He was, for the first time, completely aware of just how close it was to never being able to be a big brother. To be a functioning big brother. 

 

The squirrel tail applied and mugwart drying well, Fili dug out some fresh bandages and wrapped them around his brother's knuckles. 

 

"Never use your bare hands when you can use knuckle dusters or something else. The little bones in your hands can break too easily throwing a punch. If you don't have knuckle dusters or something else to use at least wrap your hands. That's why I always wear gloves." Fili gave tips to fighting. It was really something he had gotten entirely used to. Fighting. Learning better ways to fight. Learning how to draw the least amounts of injury against just about any opponent. 

 

"I have to keep my hands bare, I need them so it won't distract me from shooting arrows." Kili tried arguing as his other hand was lifted.

 

"Keeping gloves on will make your hands more sensitive when you hold your bow. I've heard that some archers do that. Remove their gloves when they need those long distance kill shots." Fili finished wrapping the last hand and just stood between his brother's legs and looked into his hazy eyes. He was tired, still a little drunk, and exhausted from fighting. But he was beautiful. His lips were puffy from aborted sleep, his hair kinked from his state, chocolate eyes glazed. He was so beautiful it hurt. Kili's legs tightened around his waist and he felt himself stirring.

 

"My hands are more than sensitive enough. I've discovered almost all of your tender spots with these archer hands haven't I?" Kili asked rhetorically. They both knew the answer to that one. 

 

"Yes, but you need to protect your hands. If one of your bones broke that's months of not being able to use your bow. You have to make sacrifices in order to survive." Fili kept at it. Kili leaned back and gave Fili a look through his mussed up bangs.

 

"Like what ever sacrifices you've made this past week? What do you do when you leave? I know you're not out smithing. What are you doing?" Kili grabbed two good handful's of his brother's arse and pulled his elder close to him roughly. "Are you selling this hot little piece to some Lord or something? Giving them what you won't give your brother? Maybe I should bend you over the stool. Tie your wrists to the legs and have my naughty way with you. Maybe you'd like it. Huh, _nadad_. I could take you so hard you'd be begging for my cock alone."

 

"Don't tease." Fili said breathless hoping that Kili would get too aroused to remember his original question. Even if he had to get called a whore by his beloved. 

 

"Bend you over my lap, take your britches down to your knees and paddle you. See if you'd come from just that again. You loved it last time." This side of Kili, the jealous, overprotective side of his brother is what turned Fili on the most. He'd spent so long in the shadows controlling everything, controlling himself, that sometimes he _flew_ when his brother took ahold of him like this. Threatened to tie him down and fuck him without a care in the world. "Maybe I'd stuff your mouth with my cock this time. Rules be damned, and watch you fuck yourself with your fingers. I'd choke you on my cock and you'd drink every last part of me."

 

"Mahal, Kee." Fili shivered, thankful that Kili had him in his embrace, even if his hands hadn't moved from his arse, it was good to feel his brother's hardness against his. The grip was so tight that he couldn't even buck into his lover's hips.

 

"Take you in the roughest way you love. Then I'd watch you, covered in my cum as you fucked yourself even more on the floor. You'd be so hard for me, baby, you'd wished I would come inside of you. Just to _thrust_ (pulled Fili tight against him) inside of you, milking every, (thrust of hips) single (thrust) drop (thrust) of my cum (thrust) in your arse (painful grind)." 

 

" _Kee_." Fili came against his brother the same time Kili did. They shivered and shook against each other in their climax. Kili held on to his brother as he leaned up against him bonelessly. Fili's hands were wrapped in Kili's night shirt, both of their britches soaked, as he panted against a furred chest. Where Kili lacked hair on his face, he made up for on other places. He loved carding his fingers through his chest hair, tugging playfully as he slipped past him and into the kitchen in the mornings. 

 

They leaned against each other like that, both too tired to move. But Fili knew what time it was and they both needed their rest before Thorin arrived tomorrow to speak to them about something important. Dis said that their uncle was going to make Fili his heir and Kili heir apparent, wanting security for his nephews and crown. But they could care less about their fates. 

 

All they wanted was this. To love another without the fear of repercussion. 

 

"I love you _nadad_." Kili whispered in Fili's tangled mane.

 

"I love you too, _nadadith_." Fili pulled up and out of the gentle embrace and kissed his brother with a languid passion. As much as Fili was turned on by a controlling brother, he was in love with the gentle Kili. 

 

They had spent many hours in a day just cuddling. Pretending that they could get married, have children, forge and forage for a living. They pretended that they would fight, that they would cry at their daughters' wedding, or when their son went to battle. They dreamed of the days they would grow old with each other. Kili piddling around the kitchen making sure Fili was fed. Fili growing herbs and the mystery herbs to help sustain them in their age. Watch their grandchildren go running by, great grandchildren. They dreamed of walking with each other, hand in hand, through the veil and into the halls of Mandos where they will wait to begin their second life.

 

They dreamed of that life. But when they opened their eyes, they were princes, crown-less heirs of a damaged kingdom. And they couldn't have that even if they could fight for it. 

 

"Mmm, Fee," Kili began whining. 

 

"What is it baby?" Fili smiled.

 

"Bed." He put his hands up like he used to as a child. 

 

"Just this one time, you lazy beast." Fili laughed when he tried to pick up his brother and throw his arm around his shoulders to drag him pathetically down the hall. 

 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow Fili will find the dwarrow who would dare to hurt his brother. And tomorrow, maybe they could lie in bed, after blood had been spilled, and dream of that dream together. 

 

Maybe their first child will be a boy. Tomorrow.


	2. Now I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under the age of majority, Fili find's out who is a carrier and who isn't. And it's not the question of Dwalin or Nori, as Kili was eager to find out.

“I don’t think we should be doing this.” A young Fili, whom was always the sensible one, whispered in the near dark. They were huddled closely together, FIli could feel Kili’s hot breath at the back of his neck, fingers digging into his biceps. Fili felt a spike of elation, knowing that he’d built those muscles himself, at the feel of Kili’s hand barely able to wrap halfway around his arm.

 

It had taken years for him to be able to run continuously, let alone build the necessary muscles needed to be a Watcher. After his baby brother was born he’d found out that he would keep getting sick. But in the last twenty years or so there’d been a pattern. The change of seasons would bring on the worst of it. Not taking care of his body made him sick too. Last year, trying to catch Kili out in the rain had him in bed with pneumonia, they’d had to call on a healer from a Man village to save him. Since then, Kili hand’t ran from his elder brother, but that just meant that he got better at convincing.

 

Kili’s new found skill found the boy’s huddled together, back to front, trailing Dwalin through town. The question had been asked, but the answer hadn’t been given. Is Mister Dwalin courting a theif? And if so, who was the carrier? Fili of course already knew the answer, having already been training for the past fifteen years with the ginger-haired thief. It was how the pair had met, actually.

 

Fili had been trying to run away from Dwalin after getting into another fight with other boys teasing Kili on his lack of a beard. He was only thirty seven, even Fili didn’t have a full enough beard at that age. When Fili had ran, not wanting to be in trouble with Thorin yet again, the young blond noticed a shadow following him from the rafters of the market. The figure, better known now as Nori, led him to a thief’s bridge in the abandoned mines. After a moment’s hesitation Fili crossed the bridge to avoid Dwalin, the guard cursing the thief. After, Nori praised the prince’s bravery, chastised his fighting, and offered him a job as apprentice.

 

The rest, as they say, is history. Dwalin begrudgingly acknowledged how much good the Watcher’s discipline was for Fili’s temper and Thorin wasn’t to know about Fili’s additional training apart from smithing with the older dwarf. But Fili couldn’t let Kili know that he already knew who the soldier was courting, and who was the carrier (the identity of which would get the dwarf ridiculed right out of a job). So secret’s being that, Fili had to play ignorant and dumb and follow his brother out their shared bedroom window and down the alley to follow Dwalin. Not once had Kili asked how Fili could track through town, the forest was where he was best, that was where Kili shined and Fili couldn’t do much outside of the mountain. That’s just the way it was. Whatever directional disease Thorin suffered, Fili had the same, he couldn’t find north if his life depended on it. But plop him in the middle of a darkened cavern and he’d be able to find his way to the surface.

 

But Kili didn’t know that.

 

“Relax, brother,” Kili squeezed his arm again. Fili realized that Kili was becoming more and more touchy with him, perhaps Kili was just that type of dwarf? “He doesn’t even know we followed him. Now, all we have to do is figure out if the thief is in there and wait and watch them make love. Simple!”

 

“Not so,” Fili countered, but he couldn’t deny that he was interested in knowing how sex between two males went. He’d heard stories, frightening ones from other Watcher’s who’ve explained how most male carriers were treated, and decided to know for himself.

 

Even if Fili could get away with never having a dwarrow counterpart, he had recently been named heir as Thorin hadn’t intended on gaining a wife, or carrier. That left Fili with the task of finding a dwarrowdam for himself. He still wasn’t sure if he was a carrier, still too young to allow nature to warn him, so he took on his duty of looking through portraits of potential Ladies and carriers for himself. He’d rather not go through the trouble of looking at carriers (as he was afraid he’d be one, that’s just his type of luck), and wasn’t interested in any of the Ladies yet. But he’d still like to find out how the actual duty of procreating between two male dwarves went.

 

“Look!” Kili’s sudden excitement dragged Fili’s attention to the present. “There he is!”

 

Sure enough, Nori’s stand-out hair bobbed across the window. The floor plan was simple enough, wide set rooms with various furniture to hide behind. Fili was intimate with the layout, but his spying could use some work. It was one of the reasons why the blond hadn’t tried to usher his brother out of their hiding spot to follow Nori to the kitchen just yet. Besides, he was supposed to play at inept.

 

“I wonder how boys kiss?” Kili asked. He’d always been a curious lad, coupled with his notions of invincibility (largely due to Fili’s ability to step in and ‘take care’ of Kili’s troubles), and Kili was a cannon ball of energy and questions.

 

“Same as everyone else, I’d assume. Besides, they’re not boys, they’re dwarrows.” Fili countered quietly, watching Nori come out with two plates of dinner. It was strange to know that Nori had needed learning on how to cook, and Fili was only happy to help. With his own meager cooking skills it was still a sight better than Nori’s had been.

 

“They’re _males_ , not dwarrows.” Kili hissed against Fili’s ear, lips brushing the edges tenderly.  “Only one of them is a dwarrow.” Kili leaned more of his weight against his brother, they were now touching from hip to shoulders. Fili didn’t think anything of Kili’s leg eventually wrapping around his waist. He’d carried his brother like this many times before, even after they’d gotten in trouble for being ‘too close’.

 

“It shouldn’t matter, they’re both still male, and they kiss the same as anyone else.” Fili whispered, practicing internally where he would step to avoid being seen in the house. The blond imagined following Nori silently through the house, quiet as a passing breeze, swift as death, he practiced how he thought the slide of a blade against another’s throat would feel like in his hands. Would it be jerky and tough like cutting open a deer’s throat to bleed out? Or would it be different, knowing that it was a living, breathing, speaking person’s throat he was cutting? A foot nudging at the inside of Fili’s thigh pulled him from his thoughts.

 

“Come on, _nadad_.” Kili whispered hotly against the shell of Fili’s ear. The blond felt tingles traveling down his spine, uncontrolled waves of heat roiling through his gut. “I want to kiss you, to know what it feels like.”

 

“I don’t – don’t think we should.” Fili tried arguing as Kili’s small foot rubbed the inside of his thigh, pressing his toe against muscles honed for leaping off buildings to avoid capture.

 

“You always say that.” There was a soft, wet tongue that lapped at the back of his ear, one that Fili couldn’t ignore anymore. He felt something quiver with response deep inside of him, a place he wasn’t used to feeling. “Let me kiss you. I’m just your brother. It won’t mean anything.” But the insistent foot declared otherwise, not to mention the developing bowman’s hands that pulled at Fili’s arms to get him to turn around. “It’ll be a while before they move to their room to fuck.”

 

Kili succeeded in getting Fili to turn around, when he did move, Fili was only ever aware that he had an erection. What in the blazing forges was this!? Fili looked into his brother’s eyes, pupils blown wide in excitement, his young body thrumming with energy, not arousal.

 

“No,” Fili concluded, not bothering to hide his erection. “This, I am firm on, Kili. We are both too young to mate.”

 

“Mmm,” Kili licked his lips, obscene pink tongue darting out to wet his lips as if he were preparing for a feast, “I’d definitely _mate_ with you brother. If you’d give me the time, I’d have you begging for me every night.”

 

“Kili we can’t,” Fili followed that blasted tongue again, this time licking his teeth as if he were the wolf and Fili the lost traveler. “We’re brothers.”

 

“As long as neither of us get pregnant, there shouldn’t be a problem.” Kili argued, sitting up to reach for his brother, pulling at the dark brown, almost black, tunics. The younger Durin’s heir went to pull at Fili’s belt, not noticing the elder’s erection, when Fili grabbed his hands.

 

“No.” Fili said more resolutely. Kili whined and Fili almost gave in. Fili’s blood pounding through his ears, as if he were afraid, as if he were a frightened mouse waiting for the stroking paws of a hungry cat.

 

“Then kiss me.” Kili spoke, eyes wide and boring into Fili’s blown, blue eyes. A color that Kili would eventually realize is a dead giveaway to Fili’s arousal. “Kiss me and I won’t fuck you.”

 

A dare? A threat? It certainly was both even if Kili hadn’t meant it. If Fili were any stronger a dwarf he’d be able to resist the temptation, as it were, he’d become hot under the collar, not for his brother, not specifically, but because of the situation. He’d felt something deep inside of him quiver, begging for attention, his cock was filled with desire, and his skin was sensitive underneath the heavy cloaks concealing his weapons. Fili knew, without a doubt, that if he leaned forward even that last inch that Kili gave him, he’d be lost, tied through some twist of desire to his brother.

 

Kili was attractive, for a child, he was all angles and square jaw at this young of age. Although he’d lost his baby fat early, he was still without any hint of beard. It made him look elven, even if Fili tried to convince Kili and other’s the opposite. But to Fili, it was fine that Kili looked like a ‘tree shagger’, he wasn’t supposed to be attractive to anyone! Kili was a child, not even half the age of majority and he was already thinking, saying, and trying to perform like an adult. Whoever showed Kili how to speak the way he did towards him, Fili would kill the dwarf. He’d probably be the first on his list when he got his Watcher’s coin.

 

But there was Kili, unable to be persuaded as he kept his lips pursed, waiting for Fili’s own to pucker against him. Fili had no idea how to kiss anyone, but that didn’t keep that deep down desire from propelling him forward.

 

It was weird, kissing another person who wasn’t their amad, and as soon as he met Kili’s lips the younger dwarf grabbed the back of the elder’s head and pressed forward when Fili tried to retreat. Fili felt a wet tongue attempt to worm its way into his mouth, and Fili opened up for his brother. It was like a breath of fresh air, or rather a release of pent up, stale air, opening his mouth to be devoured. Kili was on his lap, not sure how his little brother got there but no idea how to push him off without hurting one or both of them, he allowed Kili to push him against a rain barrel. The smaller dwarf, instead of straddling FIli’s legs, pressed them open, forcibly.

 

Fili wanted to struggle against Kili’s stubbornness. It had nothing to do with forcing himself on Fili, but everything to do with trying his best to mate, to _fuck_ , his brother as he’d originally asked to. Kili was a natural Promise Keeper.

 

“Kee,” Fili moaned around Kili’s hurricane of energy, it was breathtaking, knowing that someone could kiss with this much fervor. “Sto-“

 

“Sorry, Fee,” Kili kept kissing, chasing Fili’s tongue with his teeth. “Can’t stop.”

 

“Ye’d better stop now, BOY.” A voice boomed above them. Fili’s heart simultaneously dropped and choked off his air. Kili, Kili was Kili and he smiled back up to Dwalin unashamedly. A wolfish grin mixed with the boldness only youth and arrogance provided.

 

“Hullo, Mister Dwalin.” Kili called out innocently, as if he didn’t have his tongue shoved down his brother’s throat, trying to pry his belt open. “Didn’t know you was here.”

 

“You do now,” Dwalin’s steely gaze pinned Fili to the spot, when Dwalin followed where Kili’s hands met Fili’s belt his face went white. “Ye’d better get in the house, Fili, Nori will have a word with you.”

 

“No,” Fili gulped, knowing that he was in serious trouble if his master was involved.

 

“Get in there, now.” Leaving no room to argue (though Kili tried on Fili’s behalf: “It wasn’t his fault!”) Fili picked himself off and felt something wet and cooling between his thighs. It was uncomfortable and made him want to adjust himself.

 

Later that night, alone in his own bed, Fili’s world came crashing down. He was covered in cold sweat, worry gnawing on his nerves.

 

He was a carrier.

 

That strangeness in his gut… Oh, Mahal, no!

 

Fili, son of Vili, son of Dis, heir to the throne of Erebor, was a carrier.

 

He’d wanted to cry when Nori explained to him what was going to happen to his body. Fili wanted to immediately dismiss what Nori was saying, but knew better. Nori was a master at herbs, if nothing else in this world, and knew how to help the new cramping in his gut. Nori and Dwalin had taken turns, explaining what Fili was going to go through next, hot flashes, uncomfortable wetness, and weakness in the limbs, irritation, bloating, and a constant urge to relieve himself.

 

Fili didn’t want any of that. He didn’t want to have the chance of becoming pregnant, worst of all, have the chance of _not_ getting his future wife pregnant. It wasn’t that male carriers were infertile in that way, but that they had a severely lower chance of impregnating. Sometimes male carriers couldn’t carry or deposit enough seed. Sometimes they were all the way barren. There were just too many variables, too many chances for failure on his part. And he hadn’t asked for any of it.

 

There was heavy boots tromping up the stairs, Kili, and Fili quickly wiped the snot and tears from his face, dabbing at himself to get rid of the cold sweat he was producing. Just in time, Kili came bounding over to Fili’s bed and landed on his elder brother.

 

“Talked to mum, she said that Dwalin must’ve been lying about us getting caught.” Kili smiled, as if his charms were magic. The truth was, was that she was too busy trying to keep Fili’s being a carrier more under wraps than the two only princes being caught snogging. “But she said you’ll become busier with your apprenticeship.” Kili frowned, burrowing underneath the blankets behind his brother. “Which is strange, uncle Thorin doesn’t have you as an understudy.”

 

“Mum’s confused,” Fili covered with the first lie he’d ever told his brother, and hopefully the last he’d ever tell, “I’m not Thorin’s understudy.” Fili decided to keep with Dis’ original lie.

 

“That’s what _I_ thought.” Kili was quiet, playing with Fili’s hair from behind him, dirty thoughts and habit’s put to rest for now. Kili was simply his little brother, annoying, thoughtful, mischievous, as he was, he was Fili’s brother at this moment.

 

“Thank you for kissing me,” Kili said, winding a blonde lock around his finger, “Now I know,”

 

“Know what?” Fili turned slightly, curious as to what Kili was talking about. Fili could feel a wetness further staining the padded lining in his trousers. It _was_ uncomfortable, he hates being a carrier.

 

“That you’re the only one I want to kiss,” Kili wrapped possessive arms around his brother’s waist, snuggling, cuddling, _gluing_ himself to the back of his brother though he was smaller. “Forever.”

 

“That’ll change,” Fili snorted, as if he believed himself.

 

“No it won’t. You’re the only one I want Fili.” Kili promised, as earnest as any child who didn’t know better promised. “You’ll be the only one I want, forever.” Kili repeated himself. He snuggled closer to Fili, burrowing and quickly falling asleep, stolen pie still on his breath like milk on a puppies’.

 

Fili didn’t know if he’d wanted to believe himself any more than he’d ever done. He hoped that Kili _would_ change his mind. But falling asleep, he couldn’t ignore how comfortable he felt in his brother’s arms. _That’ll change_. Floating lazily, threateningly, in his mind as he found sleep.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has any suggestions or want to see situations... please inbox me and I'll make it happen in the most delicious way I know how. 
> 
>  
> 
> This means you Spyderz.


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